The Growing Pains, To Discuss Problems with Friends Or Not?

Growing pains: Do you feel comfortable talking to your friends about changes in life? Can you open up about dating, work life, and just everyday stress? If you're moving into a new phase in life, can you open up to your friends about how you feel? It could be about buying a new home, having your first child, getting married, or the first serious relationship in your life.

While I've never been married and don't have any kids, I've had those growing pains in life that I just felt the need to share. I'm calling them growing pains because they were experiences I had to go through to grow into who I currently am. Having the experiences wasn't the tough part though. It was expressing to friends what I was going through.

At the age of 33, I've learned there are three types of people when it comes to dealing with problems. There are those people that need to share what's going on to feel better. They need that release to feel like they are not alone in their struggles. Then there are people that suffer in silence. They judge anyone that is saying their problems out loud while letting their own issues eat them up on the inside. The third type of person will open up to people, but will  refuse to listen to anything anyone has to say.

I'm not sure which type of person I am to others, but I know that I need to talk through my experiences. In college when I was learning new skills toward my career, I needed to talk through that with others. When it's come to career choices, I've needed to talk about new accomplishments and moments of feeling lost. When it has come to dating, I've absolutely needed someone to talk to. That is where my friends came in the picture.

I've had moments where I could easily express my thoughts to friends on what was going on in my life, but then I could feel vibes from them when they just weren't interested. So I'd talk to them a little less. There are some that I just stopped talking to and they never picked up the phone to get in touch with me afterward. This season of Insecure reminded me of that.

The first 3 seasons showed Issa and Molly equally going through problems and sharing. Their friendship seemed normal. But this 4th season shows them not talking as much. One triggering moment was when they were jogging. In the scene Molly tells Issa about how Andrew seems distant and she just doesn't know if she's the problem or if that's just his personality. Issa then accuses her of always finding a problem. We go on to see Andrew listen to Molly and then open up to her. But Molly is so bothered in that moment that she decides that she can't open up to Issa about that part of her life anymore.

Because it's a television show, we're not sure yet if they'll repair their relationship. There is the questions of bonding with new people after you've lost your old friends, but that's a topic for another time.

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself...The Starving Artist

It's the middle of May and so much in my life is changing, so I thought it would be a good idea to reintroduce myself.

Hello, my name is Lashuntrice Bradley (author name Lashuntrice) and I'm currently a starving artist. For the last several months I've sat in my comfortable apartment complex writing poetry, reading books, contemplating my next career move and most importantly making abstract paintings. In the midst of painting I've spent hours on youtube trying to recreate what others were doing. I discovered the beauty of not using gloves and taking forever to get the paint off my skin.

It's sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Actually I'm scared. See, I've never been a starving artist in the traditional form. My books have barely made any money and I haven't even attempted to sell any paintings. Instead I spent the last 8 and a half years in pharmaceuticals. It was a steady paycheck and it allowed me to have the independence that I needed. On the side I did a lot of blogging and eventually moved on to book publishing. Blogging and book publishing is fun until monetary value gets placed on my items. People love to try and lower your value. 

Soon I'll be making a bigger transition that I never saw coming. I'll be putting my material belongings in storage and moving back in with my parents. It's hard finding a job during a pandemic, so that is currently the only option. I might lose the title of starving artist, because my focus might sway to other areas. I'll start thinking more on income and preparing for a new career. Plus, my parents will more than likely not let me bring paint and canvases into their house. 

If you'd like to support by purchasing a book or donating you can find them on Amazon and if you like to donate to my cashapp, $lashuntricebradley.