It started in 2010. I went there for 4th of July. All of my family members seemed to be in good spirits. I wasn't. I had already been in Tallahassee. It had been two months since my college graduation. My parents came to help me pack up all of my stuff in anticipation of moving back to Houston. I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure where I wanted be, but it wasn't back under their roof. My spirit said explore. In reality I had no money to explore with.
That's what working is all about, right? You make money at the job to explore and sometimes your job allows you to explore. Once I was comfortably employed I convinced myself that the money could be used to explore.
Nine years later my spirit has gotten a lot of exploring done, but most of that exploration has been in the work place. I don't regret that experience. But still, my spirit longs for more. Sometimes that longing is more time with family. Other times I don't really know what it's about.
I have made a promise to myself. I'll definitely celebrate holidays again when I have a kid of my own. I'll also concentrate more on what the missing pieces in my life are.